Overheard at Inaugural Balls

President Trump Mic'd up for the Night

— President Trump Mic’d Up For The Night —

“I think this place is restricted Wang, so don’t tell ’em you’re Jewish! OK, fine.”

“Oh, this is the worst lookin’ hat I ever saw… Huh you buy a hat like that you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, looks good on you, though.”

“Hey Whitey, where’s your hat?”

“What, did someone just step on a duck?”

“Country clubs and cemeteries are the biggest wasters of prime real estate! Dead people? They don’t need to be buried nowadays. Ecology, right? Ask Wang. He’ll tell you. We just bought property behind the Great Wall. On the good side!”

“Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dogfood. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? I tell you, this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it.”

“Oh, this your wife, huh? Ooh a lovely lady. Hey baby, you’re all right. You must’ve been something before electricity, huh?”

“Hey loosen up will ya? You’re a lotta woman, you know that? Hey you want to make 14 dollars the hard way?”

“And this is your grandson, huh? Oh, wonderful boy! A nice boy. Alright, he’s a good boy. I tell ya. Now I know why tigers eat their young.”

“Look at that one. The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.”

“I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!”

“I tell ya, I shoulda stayed home and played with myself.”

“Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!”