Albany, NY (TDP) – The bodies of several dozen non-essential government employees were discovered buried in the snow this morning outside the Department of Motor Vehicle offices on Pearl Street in downtown Albany. The latest winter storm, which dumped up to 18 inches of snow in the Capital region, led to the closing of most schools, private businesses, and government agencies.
“I thought we made it quite clear,” explained New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, “Government offices were open for essential employees only.”
“The poor bastards thought they actually mattered.”