NPR Boycotts Broadcast of Inauguration Proceedings

Plans for Moment of Silence Followed by 90 Minutes of Sobbing

National Public Radio CEO Jarl Mohn has announced that the publicly-funded liberal radio network will offer an abbreviated programming schedule on Inauguration Day, January 20th.  “We’ve had quite a few of the staff call in sick already.  We’ve been hit hard with the ‘blue flu’ since sometime in early November.”

Current plans call for a moment of silence at Noon, followed by a period of reflection led by NPR hosts Terry Gross, Ira Glass, and Lakshmi Singh.  Tom Ashcroft was scheduled to participate as well but, according to Mohn, has been plagued by fever dreams and “incoherent for several weeks, mostly while on the air.”

Mohn apologized for the limited programming but added,”There’s only so much Car Talk, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, and Prairie Home Companion we can run.  We have a lot of time to kill before our next on-air fundraising drive in March.”