Congress Votes to Support Additional Tragedies in Order to Promote Bipartisanship

Congress

Washington, DC (TDP) – In an effort to advocate bipartisanship within its deeply divided ranks, the House of Representatives today approved funding for the promotion of additional shocking tragedies in the United States and overseas.  “Nothing brings us together as a legislative body, and as a nation, more than tragic events that require our thoughts and prayers,” commented Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan.  “It makes us all realize the pettiness of our partisan quarrels.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi was quick to agree, although pointing out that “Democrats have historically been the more compassionate party when it comes to comforting the afflicted.”  Speaker Ryan said he appreciated her comments and hoped that Pelosi would continue to “comfort the 194 afflicted members of her party as we push through the Trump agenda like a bulldozer in the rainforest.”

The measure passed by a vote of 218-217.