March 7, 2026

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  • [ April 6, 2025 ] ‘Autism Speaks’ Asks Elon Musk to Please Shut the F*** Up News
  • [ February 26, 2024 ] Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign Entertainment
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March 7, 2026
Home2017June

Month: June 2017

Congress
News

Congress Votes to Support Additional Tragedies in Order to Promote Bipartisanship

June 19, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Washington, DC (TDP) – In an effort to advocate bipartisanship within its deeply divided ranks, the House of Representatives today approved funding for the promotion of additional shocking tragedies in the United States […]

News

Congressional Baseball Shooter Hits For Lowly .100 Average in Massacre Debut

June 15, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Mass-shooting rookie James Hodgkinson disappointed crazed, left-wing zealots across the country, hitting just 5 for 50 in his radically violent debut.  The portly 66-year-old from Belleville, IL seemed tentative in his first […]

News

NRA Thankful None of Its Most Ardent Republican Supporters Injured in Congressional Attack

June 15, 2017 William F Barkley 0

The National Rifle Association expressed its relief today that none of it most passionate supporters were among those injured in the Alexandria, VA congressional baseball shooting.  NRA Executive Director Wayne LaPierre […]

Kathy Griffin
Entertainment

Kathy Griffin Mistakenly Severs Own Head in Comedic Gaffe

June 2, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Reputed comedian Kathy Griffin today severed her own head in a follow-up to her hugely popular Trump-beheading photo.  The accidental decapitation was captured on film during a photo shoot with […]

Popular

  • ‘Autism Speaks’ Asks Elon Musk to Please Shut the F*** Up

    April 6, 2025 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – Autism Speaks, the national non-profit organization dedicated to creating an inclusive world for individuals with autism and their families, formally released a statement today asking billionaire businessman Elon Musk to please stop [...]
  • Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign

    February 26, 2024 0
    Somewhere in Heaven (TDP) – The star of the recent ‘He Gets Us’ television advertisements, part of a Christian outreach campaign, was reached for comment today on the ubiquitous public service announcements. Jesus Christ, founder of [...]
  • Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet

    February 26, 2021 0
    Yeehaw Junction, RI (TDP) – Local resident Zeke Hawthorne, 61, became quite concerned recently after realizing he had left his Private Ridges Road home for a short trip with the internet still running. “You can’t be too careful,” the [...]
  • Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution

    December 18, 2020 0
    The ZEETCHES Now, the Mask-Wearing Zeetches Had masks on their faces. But the Bare-Faced Zeetches Wore none in the places. Those masks weren’t so big. They were really so small. You might think such a [...]
  • Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles

    November 21, 2020 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), senior Senator Lindsay Graham (R-SC), and Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) led a delegation of Republican congressman and officials in a frantic search through the Russell [...]
  • Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving

    November 19, 2020 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – In a hastily-called news conference, Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, made a final, desperate plea to the American public regarding the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  [...]

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