March 7, 2026

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News Tickler
  • [ April 6, 2025 ] ‘Autism Speaks’ Asks Elon Musk to Please Shut the F*** Up News
  • [ February 26, 2024 ] Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign Entertainment
  • [ February 26, 2021 ] Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet Local News
  • [ December 18, 2020 ] Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution News
  • [ November 21, 2020 ] Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles News
  • [ November 19, 2020 ] Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving News
  • [ November 12, 2020 ] Trump Attacks TikTok in Attempt to Silence Sarah Cooper News
  • [ November 4, 2020 ] Trump Campaign Files Lawsuits Against 71,947,268 Biden Voters News
  • [ November 3, 2020 ] Dewey Defeats Truman News
  • [ April 10, 2018 ] Massive Data Breach Uncovered as Phone Companies Admit Publishing Names, Addresses and Phone Numbers of 200 Million Americans Money
March 7, 2026
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News

U.S. Born Terrorists Fear Loss of ObamaCare

February 24, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Recent actions by the Trump Administration have sent shock-waves through the Al Qaeda and ISIS communities.  U.S. born terrorists fear that the looming repeal of the Affordable Care Act will affect […]

News

Trump Offers Immigrants Three-Fifths Compromise

February 22, 2017 William F Barkley 0

President Trump issued a new Executive Order on immigration today, offering a three-fifths compromise to foreign nationals residing in the United States.  Under the order, all foreign nationals and immigrants […]

News

President Trump Threatens to “Act Presidential”

February 18, 2017 William F Barkley 0

In a hastily-called news conference, President Donald Trump today threatened to “act Presidential” if the media continued to cover him with such “hatred.” “I don’t want to do it, but I will. […]

Local News

Protesting Grade Schoolers Melt Trump Snowman in Effigy

February 15, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Ms. Clark’s 4th grade class at Cedar Grove Elementary School led their schoolmates in a spirited protest this week, highlighted by the melting of a Donald Trump snowman in effigy. […]

Entertainment

Trump Invites Ex-Wives, Mistresses to White House for Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2017 William F Barkley 0

President Donald Trump has extended an invitation to his ex-wives and mistresses to attend a state dinner at the White House to commemorate Valentine’s Day.  The dinner, to be emceed by former […]

News

DeVos Unveils Multi-Level Marketing Vouchers for Schools

February 8, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, daughter-in-law of Amway founder Richard DeVos, today unveiled her plan to reform public education in the U.S. with a multi-level marketing voucher system.  The new […]

News

Getting to Know Steve ‘Race’ Bannon

February 1, 2017 William F Barkley 0

No other presidential appointment generated as much controversy as that of former White House Chief Strategist and Special Counselor to the President, Steve Bannon.  Although much has been written and […]

Money

Trump Secures Border Wall Payment from Mexico

January 26, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Following through on a cornerstone promise of the 2016 campaign, President Donald Trump today announced that construction on the “great, great wall on our southern border” would begin immediately and […]

News

Overheard at Inaugural Balls

January 23, 2017 William F Barkley 0

— President Trump Mic’d Up For The Night — “I think this place is restricted Wang, so don’t tell ’em you’re Jewish! OK, fine.” “Oh, this is the worst lookin’ […]

News

Trump Inaugurated as 45th President. Obamas Flee Washington.

January 20, 2017 William F Barkley 0

 “Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You.   Ask What Your Country Can Do For Me.” In a mostly cloudy ceremony attended by tens of millions in Washington, […]

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Popular

  • ‘Autism Speaks’ Asks Elon Musk to Please Shut the F*** Up

    April 6, 2025 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – Autism Speaks, the national non-profit organization dedicated to creating an inclusive world for individuals with autism and their families, formally released a statement today asking billionaire businessman Elon Musk to please stop [...]
  • Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign

    February 26, 2024 0
    Somewhere in Heaven (TDP) – The star of the recent ‘He Gets Us’ television advertisements, part of a Christian outreach campaign, was reached for comment today on the ubiquitous public service announcements. Jesus Christ, founder of [...]
  • Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet

    February 26, 2021 0
    Yeehaw Junction, RI (TDP) – Local resident Zeke Hawthorne, 61, became quite concerned recently after realizing he had left his Private Ridges Road home for a short trip with the internet still running. “You can’t be too careful,” the [...]
  • Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution

    December 18, 2020 0
    The ZEETCHES Now, the Mask-Wearing Zeetches Had masks on their faces. But the Bare-Faced Zeetches Wore none in the places. Those masks weren’t so big. They were really so small. You might think such a [...]
  • Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles

    November 21, 2020 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), senior Senator Lindsay Graham (R-SC), and Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) led a delegation of Republican congressman and officials in a frantic search through the Russell [...]
  • Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving

    November 19, 2020 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – In a hastily-called news conference, Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, made a final, desperate plea to the American public regarding the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  [...]

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