March 7, 2026

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  • [ April 6, 2025 ] ‘Autism Speaks’ Asks Elon Musk to Please Shut the F*** Up News
  • [ February 26, 2024 ] Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign Entertainment
  • [ February 26, 2021 ] Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet Local News
  • [ December 18, 2020 ] Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution News
  • [ November 21, 2020 ] Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles News
  • [ November 19, 2020 ] Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving News
  • [ November 12, 2020 ] Trump Attacks TikTok in Attempt to Silence Sarah Cooper News
  • [ November 4, 2020 ] Trump Campaign Files Lawsuits Against 71,947,268 Biden Voters News
  • [ November 3, 2020 ] Dewey Defeats Truman News
  • [ April 10, 2018 ] Massive Data Breach Uncovered as Phone Companies Admit Publishing Names, Addresses and Phone Numbers of 200 Million Americans Money
March 7, 2026
Home2017

Year: 2017

Entertainment

Trump Invites Ex-Wives, Mistresses to White House for Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2017 William F Barkley 0

President Donald Trump has extended an invitation to his ex-wives and mistresses to attend a state dinner at the White House to commemorate Valentine’s Day.  The dinner, to be emceed by former […]

Local News

Widow Keeps Meeting Men Wearing Late Husband’s Clothes

February 13, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Recently-widowed Edna Crouse will no longer donate her late husband’s clothes to the local Goodwill. The 78-year-old Yeehaw Junction resident reports encountering numerous men dressed in the clothing of her deceased husband, […]

Local News

Grown Man Monopolizes Local Sledding Hill

February 9, 2017 William F Barkley 0

The popular sledding hill at Downey Park was unavailable earlier this week after John Walpole, 43, took over the child-friendly recreation area with a 1980’s throwback performance of flying saucer snow sled dominance. […]

News

DeVos Unveils Multi-Level Marketing Vouchers for Schools

February 8, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, daughter-in-law of Amway founder Richard DeVos, today unveiled her plan to reform public education in the U.S. with a multi-level marketing voucher system.  The new […]

News

Goodell Suspends Brady for Post-Game Profanity

February 7, 2017 William F Barkley 0

The office of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has announced that New England Patriots quarterback, and Super Bowl LI MVP, Tom Brady will be suspended for the first six games of the […]

News

Office Worker Oversells Super Bowl Pool Squares

February 3, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Assistant Accounts Payable Manager Nathan Early found himself in a predicament this week when it was discovered that he had oversold numbers for the annual Super Bowl Pool.  Early, already […]

Entertainment

Punxsutawney Phyllis Emerges from Burrow

February 2, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Pennsylvania Groundhog Announces Transgender Status      

News

Getting to Know Steve ‘Race’ Bannon

February 1, 2017 William F Barkley 0

No other presidential appointment generated as much controversy as that of former White House Chief Strategist and Special Counselor to the President, Steve Bannon.  Although much has been written and […]

News

Divided America Unites in Hatred of Patriots

January 30, 2017 William F Barkley 0

With the nation bitterly divided along political, social and economic lines, a polarized populace yearns for a unifying theme.  A ray of hope on a bleak, wall-bordered landscape.  A haven for conservatives and […]

Money

Trump Secures Border Wall Payment from Mexico

January 26, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Following through on a cornerstone promise of the 2016 campaign, President Donald Trump today announced that construction on the “great, great wall on our southern border” would begin immediately and […]

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Popular

  • ‘Autism Speaks’ Asks Elon Musk to Please Shut the F*** Up

    April 6, 2025 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – Autism Speaks, the national non-profit organization dedicated to creating an inclusive world for individuals with autism and their families, formally released a statement today asking billionaire businessman Elon Musk to please stop [...]
  • Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign

    February 26, 2024 0
    Somewhere in Heaven (TDP) – The star of the recent ‘He Gets Us’ television advertisements, part of a Christian outreach campaign, was reached for comment today on the ubiquitous public service announcements. Jesus Christ, founder of [...]
  • Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet

    February 26, 2021 0
    Yeehaw Junction, RI (TDP) – Local resident Zeke Hawthorne, 61, became quite concerned recently after realizing he had left his Private Ridges Road home for a short trip with the internet still running. “You can’t be too careful,” the [...]
  • Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution

    December 18, 2020 0
    The ZEETCHES Now, the Mask-Wearing Zeetches Had masks on their faces. But the Bare-Faced Zeetches Wore none in the places. Those masks weren’t so big. They were really so small. You might think such a [...]
  • Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles

    November 21, 2020 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), senior Senator Lindsay Graham (R-SC), and Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) led a delegation of Republican congressman and officials in a frantic search through the Russell [...]
  • Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving

    November 19, 2020 0
    Washington, DC (TDP) – In a hastily-called news conference, Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, made a final, desperate plea to the American public regarding the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  [...]

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